June 6, 2011

What makes great sex?

When was the last time you had really good sex? As a swinger I have sex with a variety of men and yet not all experiences can be described as great sex. I admit that sometimes the sex is down right bad. I must take some responsibility for bad sex. It seems to occur when I am not really into the guy and just wanting for it to be over anyway. But for the most part I would describe my swinger sex life as one full of decent sex. I try to not fuck often when the lust is non-existent.

I would describe sex with my husband as great sex (as you might expect). He knows what I like and how I like it and that makes for a great sexual experience every time. Often we try new things, change up the experience, but in the end certain tasks must be accomplished to reach what I perceive as great sex. These secret things aren't rocket science, but may be a little different from the next girl. It's your job as a man to figure them out. There are no short cuts or manuals on this.

How does this translate into swinger sex? Unless I give each partner a list of do's and don'ts in bed, he is left to guess what is good, appropriate, and necessary for my sexual satisfaction. Hopefully this won't be too difficult, but over the years I have learned that many men are totally lost in the realm of pleasing a woman. These men equal bad sex. Even when the lust is there, the lack of effort makes any type of exictment end rather quickly.

Smart men will attempt to read my cues, listen to my sounds, and follow my lead at times to figure what pieces are necessary to complete my complicated sexual puzzle. Other men just do whatever to get the job done which often times leaves me unhappy with the experience. Those guys fall on my 'no repeat' list.

The one sure way to have great sex is to start with chemistry. Swingers may only have a short time to get to know one another before jumping into bed for the first time. During this time it's important to build up the tension, flirt incessantly, and tease one another building the lustful momentum that will drive your sexual desires wild. If both of you aren't totally on-board in the lust department, the whole experience will suffer and lead to bad sex.

When the point of sex actually occurs, the thought of great sex will make you want to rip off each others clothing, devour each other with complete abandon, and totally be overcome with each other. It doesn't matter if the actual act of sex lasts two hours or two minutes, its the build up and the foreplay that make this encounter great. Yes, I did just say it doesn't matter how long the encounter lasts!

For guys who are quick on the draw, keep that theory in mind next time you are jumping into bed with your next conquest. If you both can't possibly wait to be together and every second of anticipation is excruciating, the sex will be great no matter how long it lasts. Great sex is more than just the act itself, it's a complicated puzzle that once put together equals an unforgettable moment.

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