July 4, 2011

Swinging: How much is too much?

It's Saturday and we are deciding where to go, what to do.  Do we head out to the local swingers club or do we have date night, just the two of us?  This weekend I chose the latter despite the texted invites for private play and tweeters encouragement for a late night rendevous in a not so private place.

Our lifestyle depends on family life.  Sometimes it fits in and sometimes it doesn't.  We might go months and not hook up, attend a party, or go to a club.  Other times we go out two to three weekends in a row, but that doesn't mean we will have swinger sex each of those nights.

Many identify themselves with swinging, it's who they are, it defines their lives.  Most of their friends are swingers and those who are not in the lifestyle are fully aware they practice partner swapping regularly.  Swinging isn't and never will be who I am and will always remain something I do. 

I was a bit surprised with the responses when I asked how often others swing.  Some responded with six to nine times a month.  I can't imagine this group of people don't do anything but swinger.  Others admitted to just a few times per month and probably fall closer to the lifestyle I lead.

In a recent article a reader made a comment that suggested I have had a swinger encounter every week for the past 10 years.  That puts me at 520+ sexual partners - wow, I had no idea I had that much game!  At this time we might go out to a swinger club once a month, but we probably hook up less than 50% of the time. 

This brings me to the point of this article: how much is too much?  If you are partner swapping every weekend does that mean its all you know how to do?  When we go out to vanilla parties I admit that I have to consciously make an effort to not hit on every attractive man there.  By nature I am a flirtatious person, but not everyone appreciates that type of friendliness.  And without that part of me sometimes I actually feel awkward.  To say there is a definitive number to how many times is appropriate to swing each month is preposterous, but I do believe there is a point when its too much.  But what's too much for me might be not enough for you.

When you get to the point that you don't want to be involved in a vanilla social situation; one without sexual tension between you and someone else then maybe you have reached the point of too much.  My social awkwardness makes me believe I need to get out more - without swinging in the background.

While I will always continue to fight for acceptance of the swinger lifestyle through my blogs and whatever the future will put in my hands, I do realize that the vanilla life is considered 'normal' by the largest part of the population and this lifestyle is and will most likely continuer to be considered part of the underground that most never will to speak of.  When I no longer enjoy a vanilla party, can't go out on a Saturday night without stopping by a swinger event, then I will know that I have reached the too much point and might want to slow down.