July 16, 2011

 Swingers: Isn't it a team sport?

I started off in this lifestyle with my husband.  The idea of swinging to me is partner swapping.  We each get to try out someone new, feel that excitement of someone else being interested in you, and still maintain the relationship between us.  I could describe swinging better described as having your cake and eating it too. 

Swingers all play by their own rules. Some insist on all activities be in the same bed, some just in the same room, and while others just want to be in the same building. In the end it's a couple swap, boy for boy, girl for girl. We all play and we all have fun...at least in my relationship.

I'm amazed at the number of men (male half of swinger couple in this instance) who attempt to contact me on the side. While the claim they are permitted to play separately I sometimes wonder how truthful they are in this situation.

When I asked the question - Do you play separate? Here are some of the responses:

1. Separate is fun.....but we have a little game we play....she tells me what pictures she want to see and I send them to her when i am playing or when she is playing she sends me pics!!!!!
2. Yes, I'm a watcher too, its nothing like a live great show.
3. Nope no way no how.
4. We have never played alone but would consider it with a couple that are long term friends. We both like to watch each other lol.
5. We play together. She never has played alone. She prefers me to be there. On the other side she is fine with me playing alone just as long as she gets to play as soon as I walk in the door
6. I used to in another life, but now he is with she, so no more...still swinging tho... lol
7. Never we do it all together or nothing. So much more fun.
8. Yes, we evolved to this point, it was a natural progression. Now we actually even play as a couple with another playmate instead of our own spouse. Over time our fetishes have grown varied and what excites one, may not the other. I would never want him to miss a great experience because I didn't want to partake and vice versa. Rebecca, you know my husband, I think our situation suits us...
9. It's a we thing....so no.
10. We play as a team, but we don't have a rule or anything about it. Just preference.
11. We have has fantasies of playing alone and could possibly try it with the right couples / singles but it's one of those things that you definitely have to be sure you are ready for. I think some couples go this route before they are ready and this can cause trust issues if the relationship has not evolved to a level that can support the the weight of such a complex lifestyle element. I think the exception to this would hotwife and cuckold sub groups of the lifestyle where part of the sexual satisfaction comes from the very emotions that would normally cause conflict in vanilla swingers such as jealousy, inadequacy etc...
    This lifestyle is so complex and dynamic that we love every aspect of it ... And plan to try it all :) even as a hotwife some day . Hmmm anything is possible!
12. I believe is all depends in the couples, even though we all love this lifestyle of swinging and having fun, but all the couples are different, some like the full swap, others like only their wife to be with girls, some guys like to watch their girls or wife being with another men is so many fantasies thats why u gotta have a very open communication with your love partner, I love to watch my men with another female, it really turns me on lol!!
13. Absolutely! Separate or together as long as everyone is ok with it.
14. Hubby wants always to make sure that I get great fuck so he is always there to watch and make sure that I get all the fuck I need from my sex partner.He plays sometimes with the wives of the men I fuck but no so often.He gets more thrill from watching me being fucked by another guys.
    

Soccer Dad and I have allowed each other to play separate on occasion and even now its still a topic for discussion. We haven't quite figured out all the logistics of the rules just yet. Maybe all these men who have texted me at 11:00 PM while they are out with their male buddies or those who email me asking if I'm free Tuesday evening have figured out how to make separate swinging work. But I'm not totally comfortable with it just yet.

For now the main point of our swinging relationship is to do it together. And when we get to the point that we can allow an open door I might indulge in a few of those invitations, but until then I will probably shyly back away from the situation.