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R ebecca Ammon
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Conversations about
Sex, Love, and
Relationships |
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April 25, 2011
Swinger sex and friendship Swinger dynamics can be a finiky thing. Some swingers proclaim they are interested in friendship first and sex second. Others are all about the hookup and could care less if they ever talked to you again. At the beginning of my/our swinger life we made the decision to sleep with a couple only one time. Being with a couple for the first time is exciting and we feared that excitement might fade if we continued seeing the same couple. While that rule didn't stick for too long, another did take its place - its sex or friendship, but generally not both. We are like any other swinger couple, we have regular 'friends' we know and have sex with when at parties and clubs. But in reality, these people are more of aquaintances than friends. We don't get together with our children, share family birthdays, or invite them over for holidays at the house. Those things, while may seem trivial in comparision to sex, are another part of our lives we choose not to share with our 'lifestyle friends'. Sometimes we meet people in the lifestyle that just click. The friendship is easy and we welcome the opportunity to invite them into our real lives. The unfortunate result of this connection is our rule. We don't have sex with real friends. We have the commonality of the lifestyle, but we avoid active participation with them. This may seem odd to many who have happy sexual relationships with their friends. I have seen first hand problems that have been the direct result of swinger/friendship type relationships. Typically the relationship started out as a friendship and grew into a a sexual experience. In the end most have lost their relationships because sex got in the way. It's tricky at times to decide where to draw the line with friendship and sex. We like our swinger 'friends' and we like our private 'friends'. Those who makes the cut to private life are a select few. If you aren't my playmate, feel really special because you are my friend!
Comments
3 - We like the novelty of sleeping with new
couples and don't normally play with the same couple more than once. We've become "friends" with couples
we've met in the lifestyle and have incorporated them into our vanilla life but typically we don't play
with them again. Many times they are just too available and the excitement that comes with meeting a new
couple just no longer exists. NY Swingers.
2 - We are 4 couples
who swing with each other in our group and good friends. Its a secret we all kept so well that no one
knows. Of course we never swing with anyone else that makes it easier.
1 - Really like what you said. It's somewhat akin to
colleague/friend relationship. Haven't personally met you but I like your character. Honestly , I would
love to be BOTH your friend and playmate.
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