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R ebecca Ammon
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Conversations about
Sex, Love, and
Relationships |
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May 24, 2011 Strange swinger rules
Most people believe that swingers live outside rules, but in some ways swingers often have more rules
regarding their sexual interactions than the average vanilla couples. Often times swinger couples
will discuss their rules before heading to the bedroom. Many swingers have standard rules, like
myself: always use protection and respect the other person and his or her rules. However, some
swingers have some pretty peculiar demands.
Shower first, play second: I once met a couple who required new partners to shower before sex. Apparently this couple had met an unfavorably smelling couple and decided they must actually see every potential sex partner wash before anything sexual would occur. The couple offered to make this a fun event by showering with us, but the fact that it was a requirement sucked all the possible enjoyment out of the act. We said no thank you.
No kissing rule: I find it difficult to size someone up without at least a short
make-out session. I have a few several couples who feel kissing is too intimate and should only be shared
with each other. Apparently putting your dick in my mouth or burying your face in my vagina is not intimate
at all. All of the male halfs of couples with this rule have cheated on their rule. As soon as
their partners aren't looking we are making out like teenagers in a movie theater.
Separate rooms only rule: For most swingers, the visual aspect of watching their
significant other get off by the hands, mouth, or dick of someone else makes the experience even more
erotic. Soccer Dad and I don't have a rule about same room, same bed, etc. As long as we are
both comfortable with the situation we are open for most anything. Other couples are not the
same. Some will insist on having separate rooms for sex because they aren't able to let go as much
when sharing a room with their regular partner. I'm not sure this is the healthiest type of swinger
couple, but then what does that mean anyway?
The optional condom rule: Protection is always my top priority. There are too many risks for me not to take all the precautions I can with mutliple partners. I'm always shocked when people are lax about this rule. Many men claim they have difficulty achieving and keeping an erection with a condom on. But, this isn't a good enough reason for me to let him ride bareback inside my precious pink palace. Get some Viagra and throw on the raincoat. I make no exception to this rule.
The no sex rule: This rule applies to couples that participate in what swingers call Soft Swap. These couples will kiss, touch, give and receive oral sex, but will not participate in intercourse. Some will play with you then go back to their own partner for sex. Others will perform oral sex until you are satisfied. I've never quite understood this rule. Oral sex is still sex. You are putting your body part inside my mouth. Why is it any different to put it in my vagina?
Originally published in
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