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R ebecca Ammon
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Conversations about
Sex, Love, and
Relationships |
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June 28, 2011
Sex on the first date? Apparently I was totally unaware that sex on the first date is still a foreign concept to many. According to The Stir sex on the 1st date still isn't respectable in 2011:
Since when did the general population become so averse to opening up to possibilities and who did they poll to come to this assumption? Even if I wasn't a swinger I wouldn't agree with that statement. I must confess, I have never actually dated. I met my husband at 16, dated at 17 and married at 19. My 'dating' experience actually consists of swinger dates. I am fairly certain that if I don't have sex on the first date with another swinger, I'm probably not going to have sex with them at all. Is this what they mean by extenuating circumstances? If I were to date as a regular single adult I think sex would be important on the first date. I do agree that the build up of excitement and lust is a good thing, but if you build all that up for too many dates you might find yourself disappointed. What if you aren't sexually compatible? Do you feel as if you have wasted time, effort, and emotions on someone that just doesn't fit? I've had first date sex with many men that I won't fuck again. It wasn't necessarily a waste of my time, but it was a lesson not to date that couple again. I want to know how you kiss and I want to know if you posess any sexual prowess. Are you agressive in bed or will you just wait for me to initiate? These things are important to me and I would imagine they are important to others. If forced out into the single life, dating, seeking a companion, I would most definately want to have sex on the first date. Would you?
Comments:
5 - I'm okay
with one night stands but I would hesitate to have sex on a first date. I don't meet women online so I know
little about them on a first date. I'd worry that the lady is expecting something in return for the sex. She
would have to initiate AND communicate clearly that she's fine with sex on the first date for me to even begin
to consider it.
4 - I agree, sexual chemistry is huge,
what's the point in waiting??
3 - As a male, it is risky to presume that a
"first date" is willing to have sex with you. Many women still expect a man to "get to know" them a bit before
sex.
2 - I frequently have sex on the first date. For guys they seem to want to have the "fuck it and move on" mentality.... moving in an eternal quest to find the "next moist spot". For me my reasoning for sex on the first date are simple... most guys can't match my normal nilla sex drive... even fewer guys can handle the kink aspect - they see the front page for fetlife and proclaim "oh fuck that's weird". So when I find a guy that I think might have matching sex drives, yeah I often race to the bedroom, because well if there is not comparable sexual chemistry... why waste time dating...
1 - I'm a big fan of chemistry, attraction and passion and
if both people are feeling that I don't see a problem in acting on it
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