July 6, 2011

Sex Noises

How do you feel about all those noises that sneak up during sex?  I don't mean the OOO's and AHHH's of pleasure.  I'm talking about those other noises.  The one's that make us embarrassed.

It's happened to all of us, you are lost in the moment and suddenly a squeak.  Was it the bed squeaking?

The queef:  How and why does this happen?  There are a couple things that have to occur for a queef to show itself. 

1. Finger fucking:  When you a fingering a woman quite rapidly you will fill her wonderful vagina with air.  Typically that air will stay tucked in there until she moves then out it comes in an embarrasing pppffft. 
2. Sex: Just the motion of sex leads to the potential of air entering the vagina. But for those who are real movers and shakers in the sack, extra air is pushed up. When you finally pull out of a woman after all that pumping she is going to queef.

Obviously there isn't much we can do to prevent the awkward queef, but you can just ignore it and go on.  The queefing females will thank you!

Farting:  This seems to be a problem for both men and women.  Let's face it, we all have gas and sometimes in the throws of passion we tend to forget or find ourselves unable to control this particularly unpleaseant body function. 

If you a compassionate sex partner you will keep on moving.  You won't mention the fart, you won't laugh, and you will pretend you didn't hear a thing.  Sex is so much better when you don't have to fear this noise!

Slapping Skin:  Bodies collide during sex.  We forcefully push ourselves together and when this happens we sometimes sweat.  Suddenly bodies are slapping, my pussy is so wet its squeaking against your cock.  Slappy skin is a hot, sexual fact of sex.

There are good sex noises and bad sex noises.  Stay tuned for the next installment of sex noises!