October 4, 2011

I've got style
Swinger Style

Ok, maybe that was a play on words, but do you really know what all those swinger terms I talk about actually mean? I bet even some swingers are still unclear about all the various names and acroynms used in the lifestyle. Full swap, soft swap, pillow princess, socially bisexual; the list can go on and on.

Are you a full swap or soft swap couple? Do you both make decisions of how, why, when, and where or does that decision normally default to just one of you? Swingers are finicky people. Each couple you encounter comes with a new set of rules, likes, and dislikes. Sometimes figuring these things out can be tricky. I always try to ask what the rules are, but sometimes in a club atmosphere where drinking is involved I will forget that I should ask. Oops….

My husband and I are a full swap couple. This means we will trade partners for full sex. We also allow each other to kiss and grope in the proper atmosphere without asking permission from each other every time. I take responsibility for starting this trend with us. I tend to push the envelope a bit when we are out to party at a swingers club. I like to make my way around the club to say hello to as many people as possible. Sometimes that includes some dancing and rubbing while other times that might include a quick make-out session. My husband isn’t as forward as I am, but he warms up nicely and before I know it he will be making out with a hottie across the bar. We are a dual led couple which emcompasses some of our swinging style.

I generally ask a man before I kiss him (although not always). Some guys will say that I have to ask the wife. The answer has always been go right ahead or yes you can if I can kiss your husband. I would categorize this type of couple as woman led. She will probably make the decision regarding sex, the partners, and place (one bed, separate beds, same room, separate rooms, etc.).

I haven’t ever seen a couple that was completely led by the male half, but I have met some where the man does make an abundance of the decisions. I will loosely label this as male led couple. All these things may encompass a full swap couple.

Soft swap, full swap, and girl-girl are some of the popular labels for swingers. Within these labels you can add male/female/female, male/female/male, male/female/male/female; I could go on and on with the combination possibilities. All swingers have a favorite style within the many opportunities. I prefer all of the above.

Recently I discovered another style at the swingers club. I will label them family swingers. I call them this because on several occasions I have met brother/sister teams at the club (one included their mother as well) . Most have told me that they do not sleep together, but what about same room sex – I really don’t want to know. I have spoke with one couple that actually includes siblings in their sexual experiences – engaging in sex with others as well as together. This type of swinging style is a little far out there for me.

I prefer anyone I play with to be full swap. I feel like a softswap couple is just a tease. You can eat your cake, but you can't have it. I'm in the lifestyle to experience it all - not just get a taste of it.

1. We like the full swap - same room and different rooms. As long as everyone is having fun, that everyone is happy.
2. I love your blog thank you for writing it :-)
3. Very much like the relationship you describe with your partner.
4. For us, its all about the flirt. Exploring someone new. Discovering their turn ons, thier hot spots, and the things that make thier knees get weak. Kissing is a must, full swap is a must (as long as everyone is happy its no holds...or holes...barred. We're in it for fun, exploration, and a shit load of orgasms. No pressure. No drama. Thats our 'style'. We showed you ours...now you show us yours!
5. The family swingers are disturbing (I agree!) 
6. Very interesting. since we're new, I thought that we were in the minority (being woman led). Useful and helpful insights. Keep up the enjoyable and educational work.
7. We are a separate rooms couple but might be open to same room - it depends on the couple. My wife is very much like you...she loves to flirt and the attention and she gets plenty. She is strictly dickly however. I told her I would get a lot more pussy if she were bi and she responded "so would I".
8. In it all the way!
9. I gotta say as a single girl in the lifestyle there is nothing more frustrating than to meet a hot couple and then get told I can't have sex with your husband. I want nothing more than all parties envolved to enjoy the full unbridled benefits of a good old fashioned three way. As a side note...go talk to the single girls at your local clubs..she is there because she wants to get it on with couples!
10. We to are a full swap couple who enjoy the lifestyle without a bunch of rules. Nothing can ruin an evening with another couple quicker than thinking you know all their rules, only to have one that was not explained or" everyone should understand" and having violated that unkown rule.
11.  I'm a single male voyeur. I get more pleasure watching others than playing. The problem I have is that some women see it as a challenge to try to get me to join in the action. I had a lady stare at me while she was getting fucked doggystyle. That was probably the most turned on I've ever been. But I had not desire whatsoever to move one inch closer to the action. It's weird I know. But that\'s my fetish.
    
    
    You might also like: 

Open marriage: is it for you?

 The Swinger Sign