May 13, 2010

One New Yorkers

First Swinging Experience

by Friend of Ammon

The winter of 1995/1996 in the northeast was impressive in its scale. I recall during that Winter break in the months before my college graduation seeing people skiing in the streets of New York for days post storm. One day walking in the cold snowiness I saw a pretty big garbage tornado whipping around near me. The wind shifted and the garbage tornado hit me. While bags and bottles blew by what hit my chest was a thin stapled newsprint with a cartoony topless woman on it - this was a copy of the seedy and underground newspaper "SCREW" published by the infamous Al Goldstein. If you aren't from New York you probably don't know who he is but he was a minor celebrity in New York and according to Wikipedia he is an American publisher and pornographer. Goldstein founded the pornographic magazine Screw in 1968. He was also the host and producer of Midnight Blue, a New York leased-public access cable television series.

He went into bankruptcy, had to sell his prized 11-foot statue of a hand flipping the middle finger to pay debt and ended up in prison and then eventually homeless. Anway, I used to watch Midnight Blue late at night on cable in my youth watching him rant, grab the tits of porn-stars and flog the articles in Screw. But I had never read it. So I took this piece of fortuitously blown garbage off me that was pinned to my chest by the wind, tucked it in my pocket and walked home. When I got there I leafed through it and there were terrible articles, weird advertising and very grainy nude pictures of women. But in the center were listings for escorts (not interested), massage parlors (not interested) and swing clubs (interested). I knew what they were but had no idea how to find them and suddenly here they were. This was just at the dawn of the internet and I was in college so it was a bit off my radar.

The very first listing was for a place called "Acquiesce" that was described as "gritty as the towels are thin" but allegedly a classic haunt from the old days of swinging. The address and the prices were all there and reading through all the descriptions of all the other places...for some reason it just stood out. It just sounded raw, sexy and from a different era. Real underbelly of New York sort of a place. The next day I called a friend of mine with whom on occasion I had fooled around with and had some adventures with (Strip Truth or Dare with friends, years later a threesome with her fiance at the time) and told her about Acquiesce and wondered if she was game before I went back to college. She was and that week we did the "Dinner and Seeing What a Swing Club is Like."

Acquiesce was on a strange dark block in Chelsea and the building where we rang the bell looked like someone had forgotten that the building was there. But the bell worked and we took an elevator up to the top floor. The elevator opened directly into a converted apartment. At the door my friend and I were greeted by a 7 foot, rail thin old black man who kindly introduced himself as Bajingo and offered to take our entrance fee and exchange our clothing for towels. The whole place was pretty dark and we hadn't even walked around yet but we had a bit of a "when in Rome" attitude. We looked at each other and acknowledged the supreme weirdness of this but made the trade.

The towels were indeed thin, as Al Goldstein promised. My partner covered herself as if she had gotten out of the shower and mine was just around the waist as we nervously walked around. We were by far the youngest people there (both in our early 20's) and as we walked from the living room through a long hallway with a small room on either side each with a bead curtain hanging at the threshold we entered what would have been the main bedroom in this apartment. It had mattresses all over the floor packed tightly to the edges of the room with a 13 or 15 inch television hooked up to a VCR playing porn with sound off.

While there were people in every room fooling around and fucking and condoms were everywhere it seemed that most were eating carrot stick and hummus and drinking beer and jug wine from the small but obligatory "snack table". We were a chatty bunch and we talked to an off duty cop with a big buckled cock ring and an over the hill stripper who said that Acquiesce was "swinging on a budget" and that "Le Trapeze" was a better bet. We made a note of it. We had the sense that this could be fun and sexy and it was, but it was a fuzzy feeling of eroticism. My partner and I watched a bit, made out a bit. I sort of snacked on a few breasts and my friend let hers be snacked on a little as well. We were just taking it in mostly and chatting trying to orient ourselves in this bizarro-initiation into swing world.

Then after about 90 minutes or so another young couple came in. The guy looked like a 25% more handsome version of Joey Ramone but his girlfriend was super smoking hot. Not wanting to be uncool we waited until they had a beer and a carrot stick until we approached them. We had a nice and completely normal chat. She introduced herself as Meredith and said that maybe we would see each other later.

I was intent on seeing if something could happen with her. I felt that my age alone put my chances fairly high if she was up for playing because in my mind the male crowd was not so handsome. My friend encouraged me to try to make something happen because she would like to see "some attractive people doing it". I caught up with Meredith and her boyfriend in the mattress room and they were gently making out. I recall that she was topless but was wearing these satiny pink loose fitting underwear that sort of reflected blue-green from the light cast from the small television. As they were softly kissing I asked Meredith if it would be alright if I kissed her back. She said it was and I started to make spiraling kisses and slides on her back and padding the side of breasts and hips. I was thinking "I am swinging!!"

It felt really amazing to feel that swell of desire emerge between three people. And then suddenly the seemingly tender emerging threesome transformed. In seconds we were surrounded by five other guys and quickly Meredith was flat on her back with all the men surrounding her. I didn't know what was happening so I got pushed to her head. I was actually kneeling and holding her head. The other guys were all pawing her and stroking their cocks. Meredith looked like she was completely turned on by this and was pushing her tits together, taking her underwear off and biting her lower lip, arching her back. I was a little scared. Even though she was clearly desiring this and okay with the blinding speed that the tone had shifted from it felt very vulture-y on fresh meat to me. The guys were all weird looking and serious and it just was suddenly feeling like we were in a strange apartment, in a strange apartment with cheap mattresses all over the floor with a 13 inch television playing porn for light as opposed to a weird fun experiment

Meredith continued to writhe and then proceeded to say one of the most memorably ridiculous yet seriously delivered lines I have ever heard.

"Which one of you is harder than Chinese arithmetic?"

Even in this weird moment I thought this was a hilarious thing to say. But even weirder was that one of the guys raised his hand and meekly said "Me. I am."

He rolled on a condom took his place between her legs and started fucking her. I continued to kneel by Meredith's head and kept on asking "are you alright?" because I wasn't sure what to do. She assured me that she was and asked me kiss her ears. I did, but it was probably pretty mechanical. I felt better asking her if she was okay a few more times. She still was and I loosened up and probably did a better job with her ears but I kept my post at her head while at least half of the other guys fucked her as well.

And then suddenly, like the garbage tornado, the winds shifted and the whole tight, weird frenzy just broke up.

And that was it. My first swinging experience. It felt worth it even though I had no desire to go back to Acquiesce it was just a doorway. My next trip with my friend would be to Le Trapeze and from there other places and house parties and organizations. And though we didn't go all the time, we did go and brought other friends from time to time and learned a lot and collected all sorts of stories

We returned our thin towels and as I was leaving Meredith came up to me and hugged me. She thanked me for being so attentive and taking care of her. She briefly explained to me that "she has always loved doing things like this and was glad to have had someone as nice as I was there this time."

I swooned and felt that there was a place in the swinging universe for me. Back into the cold we marveled at the rabbit-hole we had just stumbled out of.

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