October 15, 2011

Do swingers have more fun? 
A review of misinformation - AskMen.com

I ran across the article Do swingers have more fun? by Vanessa Burton recently on AskMen.com.  I was astounded by the misinformation the article spewed about the lifestyle.  It really should come as no surprise since the article was likely written by an outsider of the lifestyle - a vanilla.  Being vanilla or ignorant to the swinger lifestyle is not a bad thing, but talking about the lifestyle without real knowledge is foolish.

I'm not going to claim that I am an authority on swingers, but I have learned a great deal about the lifestyle simply from my years participating and interacting day to day with swingers. 

The article starts off in part:

If you haven't already heard, swinging is the new and exciting recreational, alternative sexual lifestyle that consenting adults (mainly heterosexual couples) engage in. That's right, swingers (usually couples) hook up with other couples and swap partners at private parties and in their homes.

Although the lifestyle is hardly new I suppose it could be new p henomenon to the author of this article, but the fact is a major part of the swinging lifestyle is based on bisexuality. Both men and women join in the bisexual lifestyle through swinging. Admittedly the bisexual man is still misunderstood and somewhat taboo in the lifestyle but even so this still leads me to believe that straight, heterosexual couples are almost a rarity in the lifestyle.

Closed swinging -- one partner prefers not to watch their partner have sex with someone else.
Open swinging -- one partner insists on watching their partner have sex with another person.

I'm not familiar with anyone using the terms - closed swinging and open swinging. While everyone has different rules regarding how they swing I would think that if someone used the term closed swinging with the defition the article mentioned probably shouldn't be a swinger.

Although no one would attack you for wanting to use protection (condoms), for the most part, it's not a must in this environment (although it should be). And if you want to use a latex barrier before performing cunnilingus, get ready to do some explaining to the players.

........Although using condoms and spermicidal lubricant may still be a novel idea in the swingers' realm, protecting yourself is very important and I recommend you do so in all environments. Besides disease, you also deter pregnancy and will feel more confident in your adventures.

What? This really bothers me. Why do people still think that swingers are still of the mindset we are fucking whoever, whenever without thought? Most swingers are very vigilant about their sexual health and do everything possible to keep safe.

I do admit that the article had several good points, but the misinformation surrounding that, posted in a major media forum, tends to depict the lifestyle in a poor light.

1. Thanks for sharing this article. I am hoping that sites like ours can help dispell some of these myths. I wanna slap Vanessa for assuming she knows how swingers play. It 's like me writing about polyamory! I have no clue and obviously, neither does she.
2. Eh, let sexually repressed live on while the rest of enjoy the kinkier side of life
3. The author could certainly have done a better job of explaining the lifestyle and not just basically shitting on it.
   
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