May 6, 2011

Dealing with your double life

For years I have led a double life. I have the persona that I share with my family, coworkers, and friends and another that I only share with virtual strangers (my swinger 'friends' and avid blog readers).

Leading a double life can be exhausting at times. The constant need to create another story for where I have been and who I know sometimes wears on my patience. But other times I quite enjoy my little secret. I may twitter my dirty thoughts to the world with a sly smirk on my face, yet no one around me has a clue what is going on. The double life certainly has its pros and cons.

I've met a few double-lifers in my time. Some have written me sharing their latest dirty deed or venting the overwhelming stress of sneaking around. I'm amazed at the amount of people who take huge steps to keep their double life secret.

I have some suggestions for those who are struggling with their double life or are considering taking on a new persona just for fun:

1. Don't share your double life. Swinging, cheating, or some other alternate lifestyle makes for a real juicy secret. And even if you feel you could trust someone with your life, keeping this type of secret....well secret is difficult. If you don't share it with people not involved in your double life you are safe from problems and judgement.
   
2. Careful who you invite into your double life. If you are a cheater then you are well aware of the dangers of loosing your spouse and family over your lifestyle. Hooking up with the wrong person could be detrimental. You don't know if they will be as careful as you with the secrets you have shared together. Shop around wisely.
   
3. Avoid rash decisions. A quickie with a coworker you have been crushing over makes for a poor decision. You can't predict how this person will react after the fact. Plan ahead, talk it over before jumping into something that will affect your everyday life.
   
4. Don't have sex with your vanilla friends. Swingers always have plenty of hot vanilla friends. Just don't cross that line. Inviting your friends into your world very likely will turn into a lose-lose situation.
   
5. Have several backup plans in the memory bank. When you have to think on your feet when being questioned about where you have been have something stored for use. Telling mom you were at a swinger club last night might not be your best answer.

• Topless bars are a great place to meet exciting and beautiful women, but getting attached to them leads to entanglements that one has got to be very careful of such as they may ask you for money one day or many days, if you give them money it may never end.
• If you do give a girl money to make ends meet, consider it a gift not a loan, as you will not get it back! Give in the spirit of giving to help someone out.
• Be careful of giving out your phone number as you will get calls that you dont expect and text messages at all hours of the day/night.
• When you do click with a girl, take it slowly as she may have others in her life as well, getting possesive is not good, jealousy is not good...but if you really care for the girl it will be hard to control.
• Be consistent in covering your tracks, example always change shirts/pants after visiting a bar, wash you face arms and hands as the odor of smoke and or perfume/body wash will come home with you...so you must think ahead of how you are to do that (extra clothes, wet wipes in the car, etc).
• Watch where you go and dont stand out, there may be folks that know you watching and they may then spread gossip that will bite you and jeapardize your normal relationships, visit bars outside of your normal community but even be careful there as well. All for now!